Last Train to Heaven
by fawkes21
Summary: **STORY COMPLETE**Will he tell her how he feels? Or will he miss his one chance? *N/S*
1. Leading with Your Heart

Author's Note: This idea popped into my head one day, and I thought it would make a cool title. Since I inadvertently started a romance between Nick and Sara during "Black Plague" I thought I should take the idea and run with it. This story is independent of the other, so don't worry if you haven't read it! Although if you want to…..Anyways, anything in italics are lines from a poem I started writing. It is mine, all mine! That is the only thing that belongs to me; the characters belong to CBS.

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_Standing at the station_

_Rooted to the spot_

_Last train to Heaven is leaving_

_Should I take it or should I not?_

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He watched her walk into the room and he felt his heart race a little faster. He couldn't pinpoint the moment when her presence first started to make him tingle with excitement. All he knew for sure was that he felt that way no. He couldn't be around her without butterflies racing around inside his stomach. Every time he looked at her he was sure that she was going to be able to hear his heart beating. It sounded (to his ears at least) like a steel drum was pounding inside his chest. His palms got sweaty and he found it harder to breathe when she was around. Her very presence seemed to change the molecular structure in the room and he reacted as such. Every time she left the room, he found himself wanting to beg her to come back. At first he had thought that it was merely a crush. The word alone had made him laugh out loud. "Crush" was such a silly sounding word. It made him feel like he was fourteen years old again and waiting to ask the girl he liked to go to the movies with him. But "crush" was not the right word for it. He wasn't even sure if there was a word that could describe the way he felt. He didn't think that he could go to a dictionary and find the right word to explain the way he felt about her. Language was too finite and the litany of emotions that he was feeling was endless. He felt excited. He felt scared. He felt calm. He felt restless. You name it, he felt it. He was afraid to admit it to himself, but there was no more denying it.

He was in love.

Yet while the emotions that love brings with it are on one hand wonderful, they can also be incredibly complex and painful. Especially when you don't know if the one you are in love with feels the same way. He was in love with her, but he very much doubted that she was in love with him. There had been no indicators that she had any feelings other then friendship for him. She was completely oblivious to the affect that she had on him. She didn't know that she made him want to be the best person he could be. She didn't know that he would have done anything just to hold her. She didn't know that his heart ached for her when he was alone. It was unrequited love at it finest. He wished every night that there would be some sort of sign, telling him that there was a chance that she might feel the same way. But every day he saw her, and every day he knew that he was very much in a one-sided web of desire. He wanted nothing more then for her to know how he felt about her.

But he could never tell her.

The risk was too great. If he ever told her how he felt, and she didn't reciprocate his affections, then their friendship would be ruined. There could be no turning back once he told her. The damage would be done and he didn't think he could live with the consequences. He would rather live with this inner turmoil and keep her friendship then tell her that he loved her and risk losing what they already head. He was torn because he simultaneously wanted her to know, yet also wanted to keep it a secret. He hadn't told anybody how he felt about her. He wasn't sure if he could explain it himself. There was just something about her. The way the light caught her hair. The way that her eyes would look into his as if she was trying to see his soul. The way that she would flash him that slightly mischievous smile, as he was privy to a joke that only she knew. The way that she dedicated herself to her job. All of these things were why he found himself enamored with her.  He couldn't tell his friends; they wouldn't understand. They wouldn't comprehend that what he saw in her transcended physical beauty. Of course he thought that she was gorgeous, but what really appealed to him was what she had on the inside. It was her heart and her soul that made him want her so bad. No other woman had ever made him feel that way before. It was new, and sort of scary, yet he didn't want the feeling to go away. She was like an angel to him. There was just something ethereal about her. He wished that they could just leave this world behind and fly off to the clouds. He could find heaven with her; he knew it. He was caught in limbo. His heart was telling him to tell her, but his head was warning him not to be a fool. This is what love does to people. He was changing his mind at rapid fire pace. One minute he would think that he should tell her. The next minute he would resolve to keep it a secret that he would take to the grave. As she flashed him a smile before leaving the room, he made up his mind. He couldn't live not knowing. He only had one chance, and he had to take it. Whatever price he had to pay, it would all be worth it in the end.

The last train to heaven was leaving, and he needed to make sure that he was on it.


	2. Until Tomorrow

Author's Note: Wow! I am so surprised at all the reviews that the last chapter got. I am glad that you guys like it! Romance is not really my forte so I can't promise that this story is going to be brilliant, but I am having a blast writing it! This is a really short chapter as I am on my way to a Super Bowl Party, but I promise that I will make it up to you guys in the next one! The characters do not belong to me and I don't think that will happen in the foreseeable future.

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_The train she is departing_

_I may already be too late_

_I need to get myself on board_

_My angel, she can't wait_

*                      *                      *

In years to come he would often wonder how he got through the rest of the shift in one piece. His thoughts were every where but his work. Once he had made up his mind, he felt invincible. He felt like he could do anything. Problem was, all of those thoughts were revolving around her. He went through the motions of doing his work but that was it. There was none of his usual effort, and none of his usual attempts at pleasing his higher ups. His head was somewhere in the clouds and he didn't wasn't to come back down. He spent the rest of the night wondering how he should do it and what he should say. By the time he said his good byes for the night, his co-workers were shaking their heads in bemused wonder at his behavior. To them, his thoughts were preoccupied with somebody else. They didn't know how right they were. They just didn't know that it was her that he was thinking about. Had they known, they might have tried to stop him. They wouldn't have approved. They would have warned him that he was setting himself up for disappointment and that if she didn't feel the same way then he might have caused serious damage to their working relationship. He knew that they would have said these things, but he didn't care. None of that mattered to him. He was following his heart. Every fiber of his being told him that this was the only way to go. He drove home in a daze. He paced around his living room as he tried to find the words to tell her how he felt. Nothing seemed right. Everything that he came up with made him sound like a bad Hallmark card. He resolved to forgo sentimentality and speak from the heart. He would tell her that his first thoughts when he woke up in the morning were of her. He would tell her that she was the last thing he would think about before falling asleep at night. He would tell her how her face had taken over his dreams, until they all seemed to revolve around her. He would tell her that every time he looked at her she looked more beautiful than the time before. He would tell her that he missed her when she was gone, but he missed her more when she was there. He missed her because she wasn't his and she didn't know that she was driving him crazy. He would tell her that no matter how she felt about him, she needed to know how he felt about her. When he finished telling her all of that, it would be the moment of truth. Would she accept or reject him? That was the part that drove him to the point of distraction. Not knowing what her response would be both thrilled and terrified him. He had a fifty-fifty chance of having his heart broken, but it was a chance that he was going to have to take. He wanted to call her up at that moment, but a glance at his clock told him that waking her up from a sound sleep was not going to do much to endear him to her. He had one more night of uncertainty to get through. By this time tomorrow, she would know exactly how he felt about her. He went to bed and tossed and turned for hours before falling into a sleep that saw her face once again haunting his dreams.


	3. Tuck and Roll

Author's Note: Thank you sooooo  much for all the reviews! You are delightful! I will try to keep this story going, but school is hectic and I stupidly thought that starting two other stories would be a wise course of action. (For the record, it seemed like I really good idea at two in the morning.). Anyways, this story is probably going to wrap up in a couple chapters anyways, but there may be the possibility of a sequel. I apologize for any factual inaccuracies that may turn up. I tried my best to make it realistic. By the way, remember that these guys don't belong to me – I asked CBS really nicely if I could have Nick and they said no. (Kidding!)

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            He awoke early the next morning, despite barely having slept the night before. He felt almost super human. Today was the big day for him. He would tell her how he felt. He decided that he should work off some of that excess energy by going for a run. As he ran, he hardly felt winded. He took the time to appreciate his surroundings as he ran. It was as she had given him a new appreciation for the simpler things in life. He was noticing the sunrise for the first time in ages. It was breathtaking, but, he thought, it was nothing compared to her. She was his sun, his moon and his whole world. Just being around her made life a little more bearable. It made everything seem so wonderful. The energy that she radiated made everything more beautiful. When he thought of her, the sun shone a little brighter, the flowers seemed even more alive and the air was a little more heavenly. He ran almost eight miles. He normally only ran three or four. But today he ran the extra miles for her. 

            When he got home he stayed in the shower until the water ran cold. The warmth of the shower invigorated him and he felt like he was washing away the rest of his fear. He could do this. He could tell her how he felt. She emerged from the shower and began to rifle through his closet. He was trying to find just the right thing to wear. It had to be appealing, but not so obvious that everyone would know that he had dressed up for her. Is this what girls go through before any big date? he wondered to himself. He finally settled on a royal blue pullover. She had once told him that blue was her favorite color and she was sure to like this on him. Of course, it didn't hurt that it hugged his muscles a little bit either. After he dressed he wandered around his house aimlessly for the next hour and a half. It was too early to go to work. He was restless to go and see her. Only a few more hours, he reminded himself. Then he would be able to pull her aside after the shift and tell her how he felt about her. Finally, after what seemed like a lifetime of pacing around, it was time for him to leave for work. He drove there as fast as he could, not caring that he had to be breaking at least a few rules of the road. He pulled in and resisted the urge to run into the building. Then they would know something was up. This was it. Everything was in motion. Soon, his secret would be revealed. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

*                      *                      *

            Something was wrong. He saw it the minute he walked in the lab. The whole place was in an uproar. Everywhere he looked his team mates were yelling at one another. There didn't seem to be a happy face in the room. Greg was slipping away from the commotion. The look on Greg's face told him that he was in for a lousy evening. As he rushed past, Greg whispered three words to him.

"Tuck and roll". 

What the hell? That was an inside joke between the two of them. He had once told Greg that if you ever found yourself in danger, whether it be from a gun man or a pissed off old woman who you cut off during rush hour, you should tuck and roll. It was his way of telling his friend, when you're in trouble, get out fast and keep your head down. They had both found it amusing and they would now say it anytime either one of them was on the verge of reprimand. It was their cue to turn in the other direction and get the hell out of there. So, if Greg was telling him to tuck and roll, that meant…..

"You!" Her normally beautiful face was contorted into a mask of fury. She crossed the distance between them in three quick steps and angrily shoved a wad of papers into his chest with as much force as she could muster.

"You idiot! Do you have any idea what you've done?!" Her voice reached fever pitch and her hands were clenched in fists of rage at her side. Sensing that she might resort to guerilla tactics any second, he wisely backed away from her. He looked at the papers in his hand, trying to figure out what exactly it was that he had done wrong. Before he could get a good look at them, she snatched them away again.

"You have no idea, do you? But then why would you? I mean, I must be stupid for thinking that you had an ounce of common sense. So maybe this is my fault – yeah, that's it. It's my fault for thinking that an inbred half wit would know how to do his goddamn job!"

"Back off!" Warrick's voice broke through now. He looked gratefully at Warrick for standing up for him. Especially considering he still didn't know why he needed standing up for.

"I won't back off! He screwed up!" She didn't back down. Her face was flushed and strands of hair had escaped her pony tail. He couldn't help thinking that she was beautiful when she was angry.

She was about to get gorgeous.

"You want to fill me in?" he tried to keep his voice calm, in the hopes that she would come down from her cloud of anger. It didn't help. If anything, his calm tone made her even more agitated.

"I'd love to. Remember that case that you and I worked on a couple of weeks ago? The woman who was beaten to death by her husband?". He nodded. That had been a particularly emotional case for her. She always took spousal abuse cases seriously, but this one had really gotten under her skin.

"Yeah I remember. We have the guy."

"No!" she spat. "We _had_ the guy. But the DA called me today to tell me that it seems that _someone – " her eyes burned a hole through his face " – forgot to label the fiber sample that we pulled from the victim. You remember that sample? The one that put the guy at the crime scene? The one that proved he did it?"_

Oh no. He couldn't possibly have been that stupid. There was no way. But as he thought about it, he realized that he had been preoccupied with thoughts of her. He remembered because she had leaned over his shoulder to examine the sample. She had smelled so good. He must have bagged the sample and never even looked twice at it. And now….

"He walked! After all that, he got away with murder because you were too stupid to remember something as simple as an identification tag!" she all but screamed the words at him. He felt his face flush. He had let her down. He had let everybody down. He could deal with the disappointment in everyone else's face, but to see the disgust in hers was almost too much to bear. He failed her. She continued with her tirade.

"I can't believe you! I never thought I'd say this, but I don't think I want to work with you ever again!" He knew that Grissom wouldn't allow that to happen, and he knew that she was just blowing off steam. But it hurt to know that every time they worked together from now on it would be strained and uncomfortable. She hated him. He could tell.

"You know what? I'm not going to waste my breath on you. You're not worth it." She turned on her heel and began to stalk off.

"Wait!" He hoped it didn't sound as pathetic to everyone else as it did to him. But he had to try and save their friendship. "You can't go!"

"And why not?"

"Because I love you!"

*                      *                      *

I didn't just say that. Tell me, I didn't just say that. His mind was panicking. He prayed that this was all some bad dream that he would wake up from any minute. But everyone was staring at him. Nope, definitely not a dream.

More like a waking nightmare.

This wasn't how it was supposed to go down. He wasn't supposed to blurt it out in a hallway full of people. It was supposed to be a sweet, loving conversation that they would have. But instead, his heart had jumped in before his head and said the only words that it knew. Judging by the look on her face, the words were not the right ones. She looked shocked, scared, confused and angry all at the same time. Suddenly he couldn't breathe. He had to get away from here. Away from the stares and the confusion and the shock. HE had to get away from her. 

He remembered Greg's earlier advice. Tuck and roll. It seemed like a really good idea right about now. He took off out the door, leaving the volatile situation behind him.

He had just missed the last train to heaven.


	4. The Flip Side

Author's Note: This is going to be the second to last chapter of this story. This is written from her perspective. I figure we may as well get both sides of the story. Hope you enjoy it and keep those reviews coming! You are all amazing! The characters are not mine in real life – but in my dreams I have sole ownership.

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            She couldn't move. She was waiting for someone to tell her that there was a hidden camera somewhere and that this was all just some elaborate set up. That didn't happen. Her mind was frozen on the moment he had told her he loved her. When did that happen? When had he decided that she was the object of his affections? She couldn't even begin to fathom it. This was too surreal for her. They had been friends a long time and not once had she ever suspected that he had any romantic feelings towards her. Had she been too blind to see them? Or had he done such a good job at concealing them that it was no wonder that she didn't know? She didn't have any answers to any of the questions that her mind was asking her. Every time she tried to concentrate, she could hear his voice resounding in her head. She wasn't sure how she felt. She wasn't sure how she was supposed to feel. Right now, with everyone staring at her she knew one thing for certain. She was embarrassed because he had said it out loud in front of everyone. They would never look at him or her the same again. Had they known all along? Why didn't they tell her? She was mortified at the thought of facing them ever again. She knew that they would be studying her to see what she was feeling. The gossip was probably already starting. Words spread like wild fire and she saw no way of extinguishing the rumors that would burn throughout the building. The more she thought of how he embarrassed her, the angrier she got. What gave him the right to just come out and say something that was so intensely personal? Why did he feel like it was anyone else's business? She was angry that he had chosen to say it at that exact moment. She was angry that he would say it when she was so upset. Did he think that by saying it she would stop being angry with him? That wasn't the case. She was still furious about what he had done. His mistake had allowed for a guilty man to walk free. She knew that she shouldn't pin all the blame on him, but her frustrations and embarrassment were beginning to cloud her judgment. The more she thought about it, the more convinced she became that he had said it just to shift the attention away from his mistake. Yeah, that had to be it. He didn't want to admit responsibility, so he decided to tell her he loved her. She didn't doubt the sincerity of his words but that was beside the point. He could have waited until the right time, she reasoned. He just said it so that everyone would think about his feelings towards her instead of thinking about the mess he had made of the case. And looking around at everyone's faces, she had a feeling that he had accomplished his mission. The rest of the team no longer looked upset about the case. Instead, they all wore expressions that displayed a wide range of emotions. Grissom simply looked stunned. Well, no surprise there. He never did understand those big outbursts of emotion and this had to rank as one of the biggest outbursts of all time. Warrick looked mildly amused, like he had been waiting for the news to be revealed all along. Oh God, if Warrick had known about his friend's feelings towards her, she would just die. The thought of the two of them sitting around and talking about her was humiliating. She had heard them discuss women before and she was horrified to think that they had talked about her like that. Catherine's face wore an expression that was a cross between a mile-wide grin and someone who was about to burst into tears. She looked so happy at that moment. Ugh, how could she possibly think that his sudden revelation was a joyous occasion? Did she understand the repercussions of that?

She felt her face burn red as they all looked at her, waiting for her to say something. She felt like there was a wad of cotton in her mouth. She couldn't seem to form any words. She silently turned and walked away. She walked out the door and went around to the back of the building. The night air was cold but she didn't even feel it. The sky was darkening and the first raindrops began to fall. She leaned forward and buried her head in her arms. She normally would have tried to fight the tears, but now they came as a welcome relief. She wasn't sure how long she had been sitting there when she felt someone drop down next to her in the rain. She wiped her eyes and looked up.

Greg was looking at her with his kind eyes. He offered her a sad smile. She barely managed to return it.

"Why aren't you back in the lab with everyone else talking about the soap opera that is my life?" she tried to laugh but it turned into a sob. He only shook his head and pulled off his lab coat and wrapped it around her shoulders. They were both getting soaked out here as the rain fell harder, but Greg looked like there was nowhere else he'd rather be.

"I thought that you might want a little company. A little non-judgmental company" he offered.

"Everyone else is up there trying to decide what I should say to him, aren't they?"

He nodded somberly. "But I don't think that is what is bothering you right now, is it?"

She leaned over until her head was on his shoulder. He wrapped a comforting arm around her. "Why didn't I see it?" she wondered aloud.

"No one saw it. I don't even think he saw it coming."

She looked up at him. "Really?" 

"Really. I saw him as he was leaving. He looked like he had just seen a ghost. You know, that really glazed over, slightly horrified look. I think that these feelings just started to get really intense. And I don't think he ever intended for them to come out like that."

"Did you know?"

He sighed. "That he was in love with you? He never told me if that's what you're asking. But yeah, I think I knew. There was just this look in his eyes every time he was around you. I don't think that he was even sure that he was in love with you."

She sat up and rubbed her eyes. Her hair was matted to her head and she was shivering. "What should I do?"

He shook his head and smiled. "You know I can't answer that for you. You have to do what's right for you."

"But I don't love him!" she sounded so forlorn.

"You don't have to. But you owe it to him to at least talk to him. He needs to know how you feel."

She looked at him miserably. "It'll break his heart."

"It's better then letting him live a life of uncertainty. Talk to him. That's all I can tell. Tell him what's in your heart. What's meant to be will be." He grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet. Instinctively she hugged him. He rubbed her back. She pulled away and looked at him.

"Thank you. I am going to go find him. The sooner he knows how I feel, the better."

Greg squeezed her hand and she gave him back his lab coat. He watched her until she climbed in her car and drove away. She had asked him what she should do. He couldn't tell her that he thought she should open her heart to Nick and let him love her. She should let go of her fears because he would always keep her safe. But Greg knew that she had to do what was right for her. Her happiness was paramount. He also knew that she would make the right decision, no matter what it was.


	5. Truth and Consequences

Author's Note: Stupid school – taking away my precious story writing time. Here is the final chapter; I hope you like it. I may be continuing this saga in a new story, but we'll see. If I get enough reviews from this chapter then maybe my mind will pick a direction and go with it. In the meantime, the characters aren't mine – I am just wreaking emotional havoc on them and then giving them back when I'm done.

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_My angel's train is almost gone_

_She's almost out of sight_

_I know I don't belong up there_

_Perhaps I should give up my fight._

*                      *                      *

            He had blown it. He knew it. Any chance he had at being with Sara was gone now. In an instant, in a heartbeat, the beautiful future he had planned for them had been torn from him. All because he allowed his heart to do the talking when he should have been using his head. He knew that for as long as he lived he would never forget the look in her eyes when he had told her he loved her. There was shock, which was to be expected. There was anger, which was also normal seeing as she had been furious with him at the time. But there had been something else in her eyes. There had been fear. That was what hurt him the most. Why was she afraid of him? After all this time together, she was scared of him. The look in her eyes had reminded him of a puppy that has been beaten. There was wariness about her, but moreover there had been a look of inescapable fear. It seemed to him that she was terrified by the very notion of his being in love with her. It was devastating. He could understand if she never wanted anything to do with him ever again, but to know that she was afraid of him was heart wrenching. He never wanted her to be afraid of him and what he felt for her. But the truth had been written across her face today.

            He was sitting in his darkened living room with his head in his hands. He was trying not to relive the day's events, but his own voice was ringing in his ears, mocking him. He didn't want to close his eyes because every time he did he saw her face. He saw everyone else staring at them. Oh God, what was he going to do? How was he supposed to go back to work and pretend that everything was normal? There was no way that they could ever work together again. He had ruined not only their friendship but their working relationship as well. After what he had done there was no chance that they could ever go back to having a professional relationship. There were too many secrets that were now out in the open and no matter how hard they tried to work around them, there was no possible way that they would succeed in putting it past them. He had committed the cardinal sin: he had brought his personal life into his professional life. To make matters worse, he had brought it in to her professional life as well. He had managed to ruin two careers today. He knew it would only be a matter of time before Grissom phoned him to discuss his options. He had been thinking about it for nearly a quarter of an hour and he had decided that he didn't have any. There were no alternatives for him. He knew what he had to do. He didn't want to do it but there was no other way. He had caused her enough problems; the least he could do was make this go away as quickly and quietly as possible for her. He sighed and leaned back in the darkened room. He should give up on her. She had clearly given up on him. Yet despite the fiasco that had occurred earlier and despite her reaction, he found that his feelings towards her hadn't changed. He still loved her, no matter what had happened. In spite of the fact that she didn't love him back, he still wanted her. That was going to be the hardest part. Letting her go would kill him. But then again, he reminded himself, I never really had her anyways. They were in two different places. She was his angel but that made her out of his reach. He felt like he was trying to catch a shooting star. She was so beautiful and so perfect, but he didn't belong with her. 

It looked like she was going to be riding that last train to heaven alone. He wasn't welcome to go with her. He had missed his only chance.

*                      *                      *

_Just when I think the train is gone_

_It stops; I hold my breath and wait_

_Could it be that I am on the receiving end_

_Of a second chance with fate?_

*                      *                      *

            The ringing of his doorbell sounded louder than it normally did. Maybe it was because the person on the other end was pressing it repeatedly. He didn't want to get it. It was probably Greg or Warrick coming to talk to him and he couldn't deal with that right now. He just wanted to be alone. He wasn't going to answer, and he was relieved when the person stopped ringing the bell. But in the sudden silence he found himself feeling the urge to go and open the door. Suddenly something told him to go see who it was. He couldn't explain it, but he felt as if some unseen force was propelling him towards the door. He raced to it and flung it open.

There was no one there.

The rain was still coming down but he ventured outside into the storm. He walked to the end of the driveway and looked up and down the street.

There was no one there.

He felt let down again. He had been sure that there was a reason for him to answer the door. A little part of him had thought that maybe it was Sara. But the street was empty. The only sound was the rain pouring down and the beating of his heart. Dejected, he turned to go back inside.

She was standing not ten feet away from him. She was soaked to the bone. 

"I went around back" she offered by way of explanation.

"I went around front" he countered. She smiled at him. He felt his heart beat a little faster. That was good sign. He took a deep breath and was about to speak when she held up her hand.

"Nick, whatever you're going to say, don't. You've already said enough" Her words cut like a knife. Still she pressed on. "Look, I've been thinking about what you said. It's all I can think about. I'm flattered Nick but I don't feel the same way. I don't love you. And I came here to tell you that I'm sorry, but it would never work out between us. I felt like I owed you that much."

He felt his eyes begin to burn as the tears began to come. This wasn't what he'd wanted to hear. And the day had been so emotionally draining that he didn't even try to fight it as the tears began to mix with the rainwater.

"Sara, I'm sorry about today. I'm not sorry that I told you how I feel, but I am sorry that I told you in that way. I swear to you that I never meant for it to come out like that. I was telling the truth though. I do love you. I don't know when it happened and I don't know why it happened but it did. You are the one I am in love with and I can't –and I won't- change that. I can't make you feel the same way Sara. I wish you did, God, how I wish you did, but you don't. I knew it today when I saw the look on your face. Maybe I always knew that you wouldn't love me back. I'm sorry that I burdened you with that knowledge. Maybe one day you'll think of me and smile." He looked at her face to see what her reaction was. He features were hard, and her face was set. But he saw the faintest tremble of her lower lip and realized that she was trying not to cry. 

"Nick, what did you think would happen?! How could you do that? Things are never going to be the same. I am afraid to even try and think about how we are going to work together from now on."

He smiled sadly at her. "You don't have to worry about that. I am handing my resignation into Grissom tomorrow."

She stared at him. "But this job is your life. Are you sure you want to throw it all away?"

He took a couple of steps towards her. "You're almost right. This job was my life – until you walked in. I didn't realize it at first but suddenly I had a whole new reason to love my life. Before I knew that I loved you, I knew that you were my friend. And that's why I am leaving. Because I can handle you not loving me. But I can't handle knowing that our friendship is gone too. And if I go to work with you everyday, that's all I will be able to think about. All I have ever wanted to do is to help you break down those walls that you put up around you. I have wanted to protect you and let you know that there are still some safe places that you can go. I wanted to make sure that you felt loved and secure. I wish I had been able to accomplish all of that, but I was able to give you friendship. And that is what is going to pull me through this. I would rather have you in my life as a friend then not have you in my life at all. I am going to learn to be grateful that I knew you. But I can't stay here anymore. One day I will be able to appreciate what we had but for now, all I can think about is how in love with you I am, and how much you're not in love with me." He reached up and gently pushed her hair off her face. 

"Good bye Sara". He began to walk back in to the house.

"Wait!" This time it was her turn to call out to him. He turned back. She was crying openly now.

"Did you mean what you said? About wanting to protect me and keep me safe?"

"Of course I meant it." 

She bit her lower lip and looked up at him with those eyes. "I was afraid today. Afraid of how you felt, afraid of how I didn't feel, afraid of what this would do to us. I have been hurt before Nick and it terrifies me to think about breaking down the walls that I have put up around myself. I am afraid to try and feel those feelings again. I was scared Nick. This changes everything. But if you really meant what you said – and I believe you did – then I will tell you this: I meant what I said too. I don't love you. But I think I could learn".

With that she kissed him. He was surprised but he didn't pull away. The kiss was everything he knew it was supposed to be. It was a little piece of heaven. Maybe his angel was staying down on earth for a little while longer. Maybe he hadn't missed the train after all. She pulled away and looked at him, breathless.

"Yep" she smiled "I think I could definitely learn to love you".

They stood there in the pouring rain, finally both on the same track.


End file.
